At first there were nanny cams. Now parents can look to sites like I Saw Your Nanny to make sure their nanny isn’t behaving badly. Reading about nanny sightings–tales of good and bad–is incredibly eye opening…even emotionally grueling.

As helpful as gadgets and technology can be in evaluating the trustworthiness of a babysitter, there’s simply no substitute for “old school” safeguards, like quality interviews, reference checks, and babysitter refigerator notes, for peace of mind.

Wondering what sort of questions to ask a prospective nanny or sitter? Here’s a start?

1. Ask tell me about yourself.
2. Why are you interested in this job?
3. Why do you want to care for children?
4. Do you have child care experience? If so, discuss.
5. How do you deal with conflict?
6. What do you enjoy most about working with children?
7. What annoys you?
8. What’s your discipline style?
9. How do you envision your day-to-day routine?
10. What did you like the most/least in your last position?

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As I ripped apart a closet today looking through storage totes for a particular item, I came across an envelope of old photos.  By old, I mean…hmm, uh…a lifetime ago…sometime long before kids.  Those photos contained images of a college-aged me. 

Wow, I can’t believe that person is–was–me.  When I think about the then-me, I feel like the same person, just with a lot more life experience.  Me sans a husband or three children.  Sometimes, when I’m stressed out by the zillion things I have to do each day to keep the family ball rolling, I find myself longing for her.  Missing her. 

But, today when I looked at the photos of my younger self, for the first time I realized I didn’t long for her.  Sure, I felt a dose of nostalgia thinking about years past, but it hit me hard that I don’t want to be her–or wear her smile.

You see, as happy as that smile staring back at me in those photos looks, that smile knew nothing about the happiness that comes with motherhood.  She knew nothing about the pains or challenges of birthing babies or raising children.  She didn’t have a clue that in becoming a mother she would actually discover herself along the way.

I couldn’t have had better timing in discovering these photos today, given that a blogger at one of my favorite blogs posted a hilarious bit on “How things Change in 10 Years“–that is, once kids come into the picture!  Would the YOU 10 years ago have envisioned the YOU now sharing a bathroom with ”1,000 brightly-colored bath toys“?

Would you go back 10 years if you could–to a time when your closets weren’t jammed packed with baby & kid stuff?

There is no doubt in my mind that having a child impacts friendships.  Some new moms discover that even the “best” friendships change once a child enters the picture.  Sometimes kids are the ultimate friendship breaker. 

Are kids really that powerful?  Absolutely.  A child usually changes our priorities and leaves us completely pinched for time.  Often friendships with childless friends are impacted hard.  As understanding as those friends may be, or want to be, you may both come to realize that you’re now operating in seemingly different, unfamiliar worlds.   

While some friendships will withstand the test of time, some friendships will inevitably crumble.  Friendships with friends who are understanding and flexible are probably more likely to hang around.   It’s sad to lose a friendship, especially one that was so important to us in our pre-baby years.  But there is a silver lining. 

With baby comes a new opportunity to expand your circle of friends–from “mommy and me” classes to PTA meetings, you’re bound to make a ton of friends over the years.  Keep in mind, too, children grow fast.  In time, you’ll have more time on your hands for greater scheduling flexibility to reconnect with your old buddies.

Don’t have time to catch up with your friend, let alone change your spit-up covered shirt?  Here are five quick ways you can let your friend know you’re thinking of her:

1.  Pick up a couple of postcards next time you’re out running errands.  Keep them next to your computer.  Next time you find yourself waiting for your computer to boot-up, grab a pen and fill one out!  Even if all you say is “Hi, I’m thinking of you,” you’re sure to make her day.

2.   Send an e-greeting card.  A number of companies offer free e-cards, including the big names like American Greetings and Hallmark. 

3.  Next time you have your cell phone in hand, snap a quick photo of yourself and send it to your friend, along with a quick “thinking of you” text message.

4.  Send her a small bouquet of her favorite flowers–doesn’t everyone appreciate a surprise visit from the florist?

5.  If your friend lives or works nearby, offer to meet her for a ”lunch walk”–bring along the stroller and keep your fingers crossed that junior will enjoy taking in the sights.     

What quick tips do you have for staying in touch with your pre-baby friends?

As far as I’m concerned, a mother can never have too many mom friends.  Frankly, I’m highly suspect when someone says they don’t need anymore friends.  Over the course of parenthood, friendships inevitably come and go. 

There’s simply no guarantee that the girlfriend you met at a “mommy and me” class is going to stick around for the long haul–and just because you share a friendship doesn’t mean your child will also want a friendship with the other child.  Parenting has a terrific, although slightly gut wrenching, article that drives this point home.

Since becoming a mother, I’ve begun to amass a steadily growing network of mom friends.  While I wouldn’t say that every friendship earns the earmark of ”BFA” status, each friendship is special and as unique as the friend herself.  For example, the bond and discussion I share with C* is completely different from that shared with S*.  C* loves to spend our play dates outside, talking exclusively about all things baby.  S* on the other hand, loves to shop and talk about…well, everything non-baby.

Mom friends are more than emergency babysitters.  Mom friends can help ease the lonely, frustrating, scared, or sad moments of parenthood, and share in the happy ones, too. 

When I first became a mom, I remember a time when I wondered, “gee, now that I’m a mom, how do I find ‘mom’ friends?”  Three babies later, I know that finding friends is actually easier than it seems–probably the most challenging part is getting to spend time with them once you become friends (and what mom doesn’t need “girl time” or a mom’s night out)!

New friendships can surface in the strangest places and when you least expect them.  The pediatrician’s waiting room.  The park.  The grocery store.  The library.  Starbucks.  Your child’s school.  Your health club.  Online.

I think the key to finding new friends is being receptive to the possibility of new friendships.  Smiling at a mom, offering to help a mom when it’s apparent she needs a hand, or starting a conversation with a mom are often simple keys to opening the new friendship door. 

Sure, it’s not always easy or comfortable to make new friends, but it gets easier the more you try, especially when you come to realize that underneath it all, there’s not a mom out there who doesn’t need a friend.

What’s the “strangest” place you’ve met a new mom friend?