As I ripped apart a closet today looking through storage totes for a particular item, I came across an envelope of old photos.  By old, I mean…hmm, uh…a lifetime ago…sometime long before kids.  Those photos contained images of a college-aged me. 

Wow, I can’t believe that person is–was–me.  When I think about the then-me, I feel like the same person, just with a lot more life experience.  Me sans a husband or three children.  Sometimes, when I’m stressed out by the zillion things I have to do each day to keep the family ball rolling, I find myself longing for her.  Missing her. 

But, today when I looked at the photos of my younger self, for the first time I realized I didn’t long for her.  Sure, I felt a dose of nostalgia thinking about years past, but it hit me hard that I don’t want to be her–or wear her smile.

You see, as happy as that smile staring back at me in those photos looks, that smile knew nothing about the happiness that comes with motherhood.  She knew nothing about the pains or challenges of birthing babies or raising children.  She didn’t have a clue that in becoming a mother she would actually discover herself along the way.

I couldn’t have had better timing in discovering these photos today, given that a blogger at one of my favorite blogs posted a hilarious bit on “How things Change in 10 Years“–that is, once kids come into the picture!  Would the YOU 10 years ago have envisioned the YOU now sharing a bathroom with ”1,000 brightly-colored bath toys“?

Would you go back 10 years if you could–to a time when your closets weren’t jammed packed with baby & kid stuff?